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In today’s review… we’ll cover a French restaurant located near Capitol Hill with the potential to represent “la bonne cuisine française”, but alas, fails to do so.

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The Ratings

Our simple & honest checklist covers a restaurant’s key ingredients:
Ambiance, Service, and Food.

5/10

Bistro Cacao lucked out when it comes to location! Situated in Capitol Hill, the restaurant benefits from large sidewalks where it hosts a decent sized outdoor patio — which would be super comfortable if not for the scorchingly hot and humid DC summers that would require an excessive amount of fans to keep the place cool (and this patio is not fully equipped to handle that situation). To add to the mix, our chairs and table weren’t the sturdiest (wobble, wobble). The restaurant could benefit from some needed renovations to keep the place elegant and cute (it really could score big on that last point if it underwent a little glow-up). Ultimately, Bistro Cacao’s ambiance was really just OK — nothing unique, nor special about the atmosphere. Again, something we think this restaurant could truly turn around with a twist of renovations and perhaps a little rebranding (perhaps some classical french music…).

4/10

Average. Our host may have had the slightest bit of a standoffish attitude and our waiter certainly was not well versed on (nor very passionate about) the menu. Service here seemed more like a perfunctory task rather than an art form imbued with passion.

3/10

Uh oh. This was a flop. While Bistro Cacao boasts multi-coursed meals — to include a 3-course brunch menu — the happiness derived from a potential delicious and varied meal is quickly overturned by the dissatisfaction upon eating the first bite. While all of the items weren’t terrible, the vast majority of the dishes lacked in flavor and were bland. On top of that, it seems as if the dishes were made as quickly as possible with presentation being somewhat disregarded. For instance, in the appetizer category, the Soupe à l’Oignon is probably the best option (even though it is quite salty) because when you compare it to the Yogurt Parfait, you realize that you could make the exact same dish at home for a minuscule fraction of the cost (and probably even get fresher and tastier ingredients). For entrées, the Quiche aux Légumes is the preferred option. While the presentation is odd (i.e. why is the tiny portion of salad placed on top of the quiche vs anywhere else on the larger plate?) and the quiche itself rather dry, it definitely beats out alternatives, such as the Omelette Végétarienne, that — I’m sorry — is not worth $18 even in a crazy high inflation economy. Just look at it — bland and thrown together with what seems like no care. For Sweets, the Pain Perdu is a French Toast that woke up on the wrong side of the bed and, once again, the Bol de Fruits is an overpriced ($13) item that you’d be much better off making yourself with quality ingredients from the local farmers market. Despite the issues with the food, we must remark that the brunch coursed option is offered for $35 per person, which would be quite reasonably priced (reminiscent of a Restaurant Week type of menu), yet the quality and presentation of the food is simply not worth it. Given the 4.5 star Google Review ratings, perhaps we need to revisit this eatery and give it another shot… but I’m not sure we’ll get around to it when there are so many other delicious spots…

Reservation & Menu: